Establishing the Coaching Agreement: Ability to understand what is required in the specific coaching interaction and to come to agreement with the prospective and new client about the coaching process and relationship. How will Coach and client work with each other. Training the client. Logistics. Information about the current state, insight into the future desired state. The road maps.
Asks permission: Ability to create a safe, supportive environment that produces ongoing mutual respect and trust. Demonstrates respect for client’s perceptions, learning style, personal being.
Establishing the agenda: Attends to the client and the client’s agenda and not to the coach’s agenda for the client. ‘What’s the topic?’ ‘what’s important about bringing this topic up?’ ‘what would you like to walk out of this session with?’ ‘what’s it going to give you?’
Active Listening: Ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression.
Witness the whole being: Coaching the whole person (Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) not the topic.
Bottom-lines: To get to the essence and keep the conversation devoted to the topic of the client. The coach understands the essence of the client’s communication and helps the client get there rather than engaging in long, descriptive stories.
Powerful Questioning: Ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client. Open question (what, how, where, which, when) that evokes the client to create new neuro pathways in search of the answers. To send them to a place that is unfamiliar to their normal everyday thinking.
Curiosity: The coach is open to not knowing and takes risks. ‘Listening to the tone of your voice, I am wondering what’s the excitement about?’
Dancing in the moment: To be agile with whatever show up in the coaching session.
Inner knowing: Accesses own intuition and trusts one’s inner knowing—” goes with the gut.” ‘I feel all of a sudden in my stomach this relief, where do you feel that in you?’
Articulate: Direct in sharing and providing feedback. ‘Listening to the tone of your voice, I feel your excitement.’ ‘and as I heard you say that, I noticed my heart is beating faster. Is that you or is it me?’ ‘there is something so beautiful here that I want to reflect it back to you’. ‘I saw you do this and I’m wondering if its freedom’. ‘I feel love vibrating from you’. ‘I noticed you did/say …. And I’m wondering what’s that about?
Reframing: To help the client understand from another perspective what he/she wants or is uncertain about. ‘the sun is always shining behind the clouds’. ‘what if it was fun and easy’.
Metaphor & analogy: The coach uses metaphor and analogy to help to illustrate a point or paint a verbal picture. ‘what image is coming to your mind?’. ‘you are big as a mountain’. ‘you are stunning like a lightning strike’.
Acknowledgment: Provides ongoing support for and champions new behaviors and actions, including those involving risk-taking and fear of failure. Celebrating client’s successes and capabilities for future growth. ‘I value your courage’. ‘you are an inspiration’. ‘you are amazing’. ‘I am hearing such a solid value of freedom’. ‘I am sensing that you are a person with a lot of integrity’.
Supporter: Believing in the client when in doubt. ‘This is what I see for you’. ‘You got this’. ‘I believe in you’. ‘I can see you doing it’.
Meta model: To take a helicopter and fly above and ask ‘what would this look like to you from up here’.
Active experimentation: The coach encourage, stretches and challenges the client’s assumptions and perspectives to provoke new ideas and find new possibilities for action. It’s a place of daring to play a bigger game. ‘I challenge you to…’
Inquiry: Questions that move the client toward what they desire. It’s a though provoking question that requires the client to pounder on, and hence keeps them connected between coaching sessions. Inquiries keep the client engaged, wondering and curious about themselves. E.g. ‘who are you becoming’. ‘how do you bring more of this value into your life’.
Accountability: Ability to hold attention on what is important for the client, and to leave responsibility with the client to take action. Holding the client response-able of their journey and agenda. It moves the coaching forward. ‘What are you going to do’; ‘when will you do it’; ‘how will I know’.